Here's another classic from the BBC."Bike sex man placed on probation
A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.
Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.
Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."
Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink..."
5 comments:
Only in Scotland, they are all a weird bunch of tight Presbyterian hypocrites. This happens a lot in Scotland. Some guy in Scotland recently got put on the sex register for drawing pencil sketches pictures of a twenty six year old woman as a nude Viking warrior, in his personal diary. The Judge was so sickened that he insisted the man got a prison sentence. Half the Scots are masons and do the weirdest things behind closed doors and sometimes out in the open but try and dare to be an individual outside, a coven of conspirators, and you’ll be locked away for life.
Because the Scots talk with such a weird accent they hardly communicate with anyone else in the English speaking world and so they still think this the 14th century. The guy was very strange to have sex with a bike, how did he do that anyway, but it is no crime! Scots should get over themselves; learn to speak English half decently so that they can learn more tolerant ways.
what the h_ll kinda nasty mess is this!? exactly WHAT kinda pleasure do you get outta gettin' it on with your 10-speed.
if dude can not get laid by a woman, he should at least invest in a blow-up doll or something. that iron has got to really be hurtin' him down 'there'.
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Wow. Anonymous, you sure don't have much love lost for the Scotish. Those few that I have come across have been very firendly and nice.
Nicely put, Marcus
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